There Need to be Many Conversations
At some point in our lives, many of us will face decisions about medical care that we cannot make for ourselves.
If we cannot speak for ourselves, the people who care about us — family members, close friends, or a trusted healthcare proxy — may be asked what we want, or to speak on our behalf. Will they know what to say?
You may have read Being Mortal or heard about “The Conversation” — the approach offered by The Conversation Project for families to talk openly about end-of-life care preferences before a crisis occurs.
In reality, this is rarely a single conversation.
Our values and circumstances change over time. Ongoing conversations help the people closest to us understand what matters most — the kinds of experiences, abilities, and relationships that give our lives meaning, and the situations in which we might feel that life-prolonging treatment is no longer consistent with our wishes.
Planning ahead helps protect our freedom to make personal choices about our care while offering clarity and reassurance to those who one day may face making decisions for us.
Having our families, friends, providers, and healthcare facilities all working from the same foundation reduces conflict and guesswork when it matters most.
Why Conversations Matter:
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They help loved ones understand what matters most to you
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They reduce uncertainty during medical crises
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They make it easier for someone to speak on your behalf
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They guide doctors and caregivers in providing care consistent with your wishes
- It may help avoid procedures and interventions you would not choose for yourself
Get the Conversations Started
The Conversation Project is one of the best resources on helping people start and navigate decisions around end-of-life care and concerns. You start by downloading their Conversation Starter Guide, and their website has many more resources.
Here in New Hampshire we also have the Foundation for Healthy Communities that provides rich material for helping you prepare. See their NH Advanced Care Planning Guide.pdf.
We also have a simple worksheet to get you started: our Kitchen Table Conversation Starter.
Having these conversations is a building block of our movement. Taking Action shows how.
